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Apr. 17th, 2008

Did I push away my Christian friends or did they push me away, or was it all within the natural progression of things? Did we drift apart because I began spending so much time with Brendan, or did I deliberately avoid them for fear of judgment? And if the second is the case, wasn't it judgmental of me to assume they would judge me? And is it right that there is such a negative connotation to the word "judgment"? Yes, yes there is. Unless one's profession is judge, one needn't judge. One could discern, determine, calculate, comprehend, recognize, observe, notice, be on the wary, understand, all without judging. It wasn't all me. Some judged and found me guilty.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 17th, 2008 07:20 am (UTC)
" ...or did I deliberately avoid them for fear of judgment? And if the second is the case, wasn't it judgmental of me to assume they would judge me?"

Isn't it just fear, and not your being judgmental?
Apr. 17th, 2008 04:58 pm (UTC)
Yikes. That sounds like there are saddening ruminations afoot.
Apr. 18th, 2008 03:30 am (UTC)
Just remember surveys show the majority of Americans hate atheists more than they hate terrorists. So maybe you didn't push them away.
Apr. 18th, 2008 04:41 pm (UTC)
Pushing someone away is a very active task. If anything, you let them drift away, but I don't think you did that either. I mean, Cassandra moved to Texas and Katie moved to Chicago, for crying out loud. That'll put a strain on any friendship. Angie... you always had some differences of opinion with Angie, even as a Christian.
Apr. 22nd, 2008 12:41 pm (UTC)
I don't know if I'm included in this group or not, although I tend to think not and that you are talking about Christians who used to live near you.

Speaking as someone who has rebelled and been for at one time or another on both sides of the fence I know that it's difficult being in the position you're in. If you are anything like the person I was, then you probably inadvertently, and sometimes quite pointedly, pushed away anyone you thought might judge you. I was consistently on the offensive, waiting for someone to criticize me, or take a potshot at who I was. You might be different though and can only answer that for yourself. I think I tend to have defensive personality regardless and that's just a personal failing on my part.

I think you can understand that those who love you and are still Christians are probably afraid for you. It isn't always just judgement, which I think has a time and place. Judgement is necessary for Christians and non-Christians alike. We all define issues along a moral barometer, be that according to the Bible or according to humanitarian values etc. I think you understand why Christians will judge that what you might believe or do would be wrong. That doesn't mean, however, that they are judging your eternal fate (far be it for any human to decide that) or judging you as a person.

My sister isn't a believer and is agnostic at best. She's a member of the Gay Straight Alliance. We disagree on different issues. That doesn't mean that I don't love her, pray for, and enjoy her for who she is.

I think the important questions are do you regret who you are? Do you regret your choices? Are you satisfied and at peace? Can you love and accept those who disagree with you? Can they do the same for you?

Do you expect your believing friends and family to condone what they believe is wrong? Are any of you willing for rational dialogue?

I guess I'm just shooting in the dark with all of this, but I'd like to know your thoughts. I know what it feels like to be alienated from those I used to belong to. If you ever want to chat feel free to email me, or respond here. You can also feel free to call me a butthead if you think that's what I'm being.

You're in my thoughts Stina. ::hugs::
Apr. 22nd, 2008 08:38 pm (UTC)
Just a quick reply as I am at work. : ) I plan on giving you a more thoughtful and longer response soon, probably via email. I appreciate your comments and questions!
May. 1st, 2008 11:55 pm (UTC)

Watch the series of three. This lead you to the final part.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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